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  • Repulsed and sex

    30.11.2017

    I wish someone had told me that how I felt was okay. What a horrible way to live during such a sensitive part of childhood. Now that I'm an adult, I hope no other kids have to go through what I did. Imagine being a young teen thrust into an environment where sex was suddenly becoming the hot topic. The point was that I was hurting at the time because nobody seemed able to comprehend the idea of not wanting sex or any kind of sexual contact, let alone the idea of being sex-repulsed. The ace community is diverse and expansive.

    Repulsed and sex


    I imagined hugging and cuddling and maybe gentle kisses, but the idea of sex was completely repulsive. The ace community is diverse and expansive. I developed crushes, but they were entirely romantic. Ace people who desire sex have to navigate identities in conflict, because being sexual is still societally understood as the opposite of being asexual. That wasn't easy for a toyear-old navigating the cesspool of hormones that was public middle and high school. The connection is instantaneous. Now that I'm an adult, I hope no other kids have to go through what I did. Sexual harassment was common in school and dismissed by adults as "boys being boys. I don't have any memory of being sexually abused or assaulted. If I had been born a bit later, I might have discovered the term "asexual" and identified with that label. I just happened to be one of the fabled "late bloomers. I have never been interested in sex, nor desired sex, and have never, and will probably never, engage in sex or sexual acts in the foreseeable future because of my repulsion. But I know they do. I couldn't go to my parents about my feelings, and others dismissed me by saying that I would want it when I got older. Maybe it was simply a matter of being a non-sexual person going through the stress of puberty in a world with extremely complicated and often unhealthy messages about sex — one being that sex is something you WILL experience in life, whether you want to or not. The point was that I was hurting at the time because nobody seemed able to comprehend the idea of not wanting sex or any kind of sexual contact, let alone the idea of being sex-repulsed. In the general public mindset, attraction can only be sexual. Please be aware that some kids are sex-repulsed. However, not all ace people are sex-repulsed. Some ace people may find a pleasure in sex, others may be repulsed by sex, others may not care at all. It was a deep feeling of discomfort that was nothing like I've ever felt before. Imagine being a young teen thrust into an environment where sex was suddenly becoming the hot topic. I wish I could have found a safe place in school, at home, or anywhere in which I could have escaped from the constant baffling barrage of contradictory messages about sex. That I could have a life free of sexual contact and be happy. However, I am also sex-positive in the non-personal or general sense, meaning that I support anyone who desires to have safe consensual sex and enjoy themselves.

    Repulsed and sex

    Video about repulsed and sex:

    Multi-Fandom Tribute to Embracing My Asexuality & Sex-Aversion "Talk Me Down" [Who You Are contest]





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    2 Comments on “Repulsed and sex”

    • Moogulkis

      Protect kids from sexual harassment and push for healthy sex education that includes the idea that some people don't like or want it.

    • Mooguktilar

      And being sexual is certainly not the antithesis of being asexual. In the general public mindset, attraction can only be sexual.

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